Thanksgiving

(Okay okay, so I know we JUST celebrated Christmas and I'm about a month late but stick with me while I catch us up! :) If you need a refresher about my goals for this blog, feel free to read this.) 

We spent Thanksgiving 2013 in Hastings with Brad's immediate family and Great Grandmas. Contrary to Michael's face above, we had a great day. (I'm learning that with every child added to the scenario  it becomes increasingly difficult to get a good picture)

 

Mama forgot her camera, but thankfully camera technology on cellular devices is pretty great these days! :) Gordon celebrated his first holiday, at 3 1/2 weeks old, and enjoyed all the cuddles and coos that were freely given him. How cute is he?! Answer: Adorable. 

Side Note: Looking back on these pictures a month later... 

I can't believe how much he's filled out!

Our daddy cooked us an equally yummy and beautiful turkey... 

...while we watched the parade and goofed off. 

I had a lot to be thankful for this year.

A God who loves me, more than I realize. 

Jesus, through whom the steadfast gospel is applied to me.  

A husband who works hard to provide for our family and values time with me. 

THREE kids who are healthy and all-around wonderful (even though their "wonderfulness" is sometimes hard to spot).

The fact that "the Church" is a global entity of people who follow Jesus and is not contained to one location.

A safe move to Michigan from Texas. 

The Lord's provision, in so many ways, as we await the sale of our Texas home. 

Our rental house in Lansing. 

A community of believers in Lansing who love Jesus and live out grace. 

Transitioning to Three

I was a little worried after having Gordon that Michael, who has always been a mamma's boy would respond negatively to having a new baby held by mamma so much of the day. I have been so surprised and pleased with how Michael has responded to Gordon - he truly loves him. His favorite question for the weeks after Gordon was born was "Hug?" He wanted to hug, kiss and hold his brother all day long - it made this mamma's heart so happy!

The first week of transitioning to three kids was relatively easy, I had constant help from Brad or my mom. My goal on my first day alone with all three kids was to get ready for the day at some point (Brush hair, make up, brush teeth, get dressed) and to care for the kids. I had no other agenda - the day went pretty well (like I said in previous posts, my mom set me up for success before she left!). 

Since that first week, we have had many highs and lows. Yesterday was a definite low. Lucy was being super sensitive, Michael fussy and moody (we think he has an ear infection) and Gordon wasn't quite right. Added to the mix was a tired, congested mamma. Oh and tears - everyone had tears at one point or another.  Honestly I didn't respond well to the kids attitudes, I matched their bad moods with a worse one and had to apologize for the way I spoke to them later in the day.  We made it to nap time and I joined them in sleeping for 45 minutes. Naps were shorter than normal but we all had a snack of cookies and milk after we woke up and our afternoon outlook seemed a bit better. I gave the kids separate activities (they were still picking on each other) and we made it through the afternoon. Daddy to the rescue, Chinese delivery and a glass of wine helped the evening end well.

One of my favorite "high" moments thus far with three kids happened right as our Life Group was starting, we were all set up and ready but then Gordon decided he was hungry and Michael had a melt down. I took both boys upstairs (our house is small and two fussy boys makes it feel smaller) and gave Michael some books on my bed while I sat down to nurse Gordon. Usually looking at books quietly helps Michael calm down but this particular evening he was really upset. Lucy came in and I got to witness a super sweet sibling interaction,

L: "Michael are you still feeling upset?" 

M: (Through tears) "Yeah"

L: "Can I read you a book?"

M: "Yeah"

Lucy proceeded to "read/recite" him two or three books and Michael calmed down. 

L: "Are you feeling better now?" 

M: "Yeah" 

(source)

Any transition comes with highs and lows. As we settle into parenting three kids and finding our new normal (what used to work just won't anymore) I'm so thankful for the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ. I keep being drawn to 2 Thessalonians 3:5 and thinking of the love that God has for me and what that love produces in me - in thought or action. How does the knowledge of how much God loves me help me better love my husband and kids? I've also been thinking about the phrase "steadfastness of Christ" - I am anything but steadfast these days, maybe that's what's drawing me to it. I'm a mess. But knowing that my Savior is steadfast in his love for me, that my salvation - bought by his blood - is steadfast, has been a calming reassurance in the midst this transition.

I've also found this verse to be a wonderful verse to pray for friends - what better request could we offer up for those we love? 

How does this verse impact your thinking today? 

I knew this day would come...

... but that doesn't mean I was prepared for it. Thankfully because of God's grace, I was able to respond well.

Lucy came down from her nap one day, after spending some time in the bathroom (which isn't uncommon - usually she gets dressed and takes a bathroom break before coming down) with makeup "on" and all 20 of her digits (along with parts of her legs and arms) painted with grey fingernail polish.

We had never had a talk with Lucy about not messing in my makeup bag or using nail polish alone, without asking first. So, she and I had that talk as I helped her clean up. We washed her face, I removed all the polish from her finger nails, hands, arms and legs and then worked on cleaning up her pedicure - she had grey toenails for a little while which served as a good conversation piece and reminder that next time: we need to ask. :)

The next day, she asked if we could paint her fingernails pink and we did.

It was a good experience for me as a mom. One of the rare moments I think I correctly assessed the situation and helped with clean up but decided that discipline wasn't necessary. She didn't get fingernail polish on the toilet, floor and sink on purpose, didn't wreck my eyeshadow and lipstick maliciously and didn't go about painting her nails in a secretive manner. She just wanted to look pretty and be like mommy by putting on make up and painting her own nails. I saw my little girl as a little girl, who is 3 and makes mistakes. It was a humbling moment as a mom and an interaction I will not soon forget.

Growing in Trust & Cherishing the Now

Hi friends,

We are 19 days away from our due date. All Gordon-related projects are done and we are in the waiting game... when will our little lad arrive? Instead of focusing on the waiting I am trying to soak up every moment I can as we are family of 4 and work ahead a bit on a few mommy/Sarah-made gifts (December holds quite a bit of celebrating!).

I'll post later this week with the preparing for Gordon goodies! And I'm hoping to get some house pictures up so you guys can see where we are living.

We have settled into a basic routine and while it is never executed the way it's (ideally) laid out on paper - it's helpful for the kids and I to have a sort of expectation for each day. Brad has been working hard - crunching data, reading books and meeting with all sorts of people as we try to decide where to church plant. He's thriving in the environment and training provided at Riv, learning a ton and enjoying the some of the more nerdy aspects of his job (he's a spreadsheet-lover). :) We still don't know where we are going to live in a year, but are trusting the Lord to open doors and direct our desires.

Our house in Pampa is still on the market, the offer we received back in August fell through. (Although the initial closing date was set for the day after the government ended up shutting-down... so we still would not have closed on it even if the plans had continued... can't help but wonder if all this was orchestrated by God to remove some stress from our lives.) Please continue to pray with us that it will sell soon? We've struggled through a wide range of emotions in reg to the house-situation, but we are praying that the Lord will increase our trust in him and reminding ourselves that He will be faithful to take care of us.

Lucy is still as talkative and social as ever! It is rare for her not to dress up at least once a day. She is c.o.n.s.t.a.n.t.l.y chatting and LOVES to be a helper (she put on Michael's shoes for me the other day and then "read" him a book!). She has been making up the best songs about every day things (i.e.: "The Girl and the Bandaid") and is very imaginative in her activities she plans for us to do as a family - she made up a game we've started calling "Pumpkin Pumpkin." The rules are simple: While driving in the car, if you see a pumpkin point to it and say "Pumpkin Pumpkin!" It has been the source of much laughter as we've been out and about lately. :) Lucy asks "why?" all the time and is, at-times, slow to be obedient (very normal for a 3 year old, but still frustrating sometimes). She is working on asking for help nicely and not being bossy or whiney. She memorizes songs and verses so easily and will tell us if she got along with everyone in Sunday School - we've been encouraging her to remember kid's names so she doesn't have to refer to them as "the boy in the green shirt" or "the purple girl" ("Lucy, they won't be wearing those same clothes next time you see them so you need to remember their name.") Haha.

Michael is on-the-go! He loves being outside, in the backyard or at the park you can find him climbing and exploring. He loves roughhousing with his daddy. He also loves helping and if you ask him, he will happily carry trash to the trashcan for you or laundry to the hamper. He knows where the kids shoes go and will take off his shoes and put them away (in the right place!). He is learning new words (Most recently: "Bath" "Done," "More," and "Lu") and beams with pride when he accomplishes a new one! Our current, Michael-struggle is this: he will wake up between 6:30-7:00, drag a chair from his room to the light switch and wake up his sister by turning on and off the light. This is not something his mom and dad appreciate. Thankfully we can usually hear the chair scraping on the floor through the monitor and intercept him soon after the light has been switched on to remind him that it is still dark out (it is still very dark at 6:30) and that he needs to stay in bed. This morning we got another hour of kid-free time after our quick "reset!" Other mornings it's only 15 minutes, but we try to encourage the kids to stay in their beds until the sun comes up. :) (I know all that all too soon our schedule will be thrown to the wind - but for now.... it's nice to remain consistent).

I have been trying to live in the moment lately, not focused on what life will look like for us in a month or even what it has looked like in the past, but focusing on the now. I've enjoyed the grocery store trips when I can still fit all my kids into one shopping cart, along with a few groceries. I've cherished the all-through-the-night sleep I've been having. I've revisited the "to cloth diaper or not to cloth diaper" question (no answer yet... just thinking). I've sang along with my sweet family as daddy plays his guitar with no fear of "waking the baby." I've practiced lullabies and gentle touch with Lucy and Michael for when little brother arrives. I've been thankful, in the moments I feel "AHHH I can't do this with TWO, let alone THREE children!" that I am not alone in this parenting thing but have a fantastic husband who is super helpful and such an encouragement to me. I've enjoyed a longer than 3 hr date-night with said-husband, realizing that our alone time will soon be happening in smaller windows of time as there will be a hungry baby in the picture.

Our lives are going to change forever in a few weeks and I'm trying to have a good perspective on how long it will take for us to find a new "normal." So far, so good - not that that means I think it's going to be easy, but I think I've settled into a place of contentment and "Okayness" about all the unknowns in life right now - I'm growing in my ability to rest in trust.

Well, I'm going to make myself a cup of decaf coffee and take advantage of what nap-time I have left to do some reading. :) Scratch that! Brad just brought me a latte! Another reason to be thankful. :)

Happy Monday!

5 Blog Posts That Have Got Me Thinking

Hi friends,

A bit of a different post today, I thought I'd share 5 different blog posts from the past few weeks/months that have sparked some thinking in my mind. The topics addressed in these posts vary greatly but have all stuck with me.

1) "Tight Fist or Open Hand?"
A great post that has brought me so much more freedom in the way that I think about a bunch of things from cleaning to parenting. I rarely comment on posts that I don't personally know the author, but this post got my mind running a million miles a minute and before I knew I, I was typing away in the comment section! :) (Here's what I wrote, it'll make more sense to you if you read the above post first)

"With the purpose of streamlining and organizing my routine, I’ve been talking to friends about cleaning “methods.” Taking a survey of what people do and realizing exactly what you said above. Different methods work better for different people. I can try to implement some things from “E’s method” into mine – but I have to do so, realizing that E’s household/life/family requirements are a different than mine. I find this realization freeing. Even applied to my own family upbringing! If I don’t use my mom’s method for housekeeping…. it’s OKAY!

A talk with my husband a few weeks ago, in which he told me he was overly satisfied with the state of the household and wished that I would sit and enjoy the little moments with our kids, was eye-opening. Along with John 3:17, “Jesus didn’t come into the world to condemn the world (me), but to save it (me) from sin.” (My paraphrase)

I appreciated you bringing to light the relationship between principles and methods – I’ve never looked at it so simply before. The first thing that came to my mind was, “You might need to change your methods in different life stages but separating principles from methods means you can still live by the same standards/values as you assess and change your methods to meet your current situational needs.” Does that make sense?

As I said, I find the whole topic freeing! If your current methods aren’t working – change them! They aren’t the foundation. Don’t idolize the methods when the purpose of both principles and methods is to help you worship Jesus better in your everyday life."

2) Believing the Gospel for our Friends

Have you ever shared a struggle with sin with a friend only to have them respond poorly? Did this damage the relationship or place a hamper between you and your friend? This post made me think a lot about how I respond when someone shares a struggle with me. I tend to have the second response she mentions toward friends - offering unconditional support instead of joining my friend in mourning over sin and receiving the comfort that Holy Spirit brings as we realize how much we need the gospel to redeem us (Matt 5:4). The thought process has influenced the way I listen and interact with Brad and my close friends. I want to be a friend who always encourages with the hope of the gospel and never interferes with the Holy Spirit's work of conviction in another believer. 

3) 15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years

Warning, this post has some language - so read with caution. (And, I hope you know me well enough to know that I fight for life-long marriage and not marriage that lasts only 15 years) From what I can tell, the author is not writing from a gospel-informed perspective but and although I believe her list is NOT exhaustive (ie. there are no, "stay focused on Jesus," points) I think a lot of her points are right on. Some of them made made me laugh out loud, but I resonated with #1, #8, #15 the most. :) 

4) One Thing Your Daughter Doesn't Need You To Say
Oh my goodness. This post is fabulous. It helped put to words and action-steps what I deeply desire for my kids. I crave honesty with my kids, I crave authenticity. Because I believe that Jesus is enough for me, I believe he is enough for their little hearts and enough for their peers (who may, at first glance - not  be who I want my kids to imitate, but on second thought - they need Jesus as much as I do). 

5) The Next Beth Moore
I loved this post, I think it is spot on for anyone who is involved in ministry to women. But more than the post - I want to point you to Jen Wilkin's bible studies! She has written numerous studies (I've done the one on 1st Peter and am just starting the one on the Sermon on the Mount - HIGHLY recommend both of them!) that leave the student better equipped to read and learn from the Bible on their own. That's what I appreciate about her studies the most, they provide the learner with tools and strategies for studying ANY book of the bible and gleaning truth - from new-believer to veteran Bible-student.  So check out the links on the right hand side of her blog, under the heading "links to bible study workbooks and audio." The workbooks are available for download and are FREE, as are the weekly audio lessons. Gather a group of friends and work though one together! 

Please, I'd love to dialogue with you about any of the above 5 posts and their accompanying thoughts! What do you think? Have you read any posts lately that have sparked your mind into action? Let's chat! 

Choosing to be "Ronda" and not "Nancy"

I don't know about you, but there are days that I have to force myself to think positively. Days that my inclination is to look at everything with a pessimist's glare. This comes out in my attitude and in my speech. This morning, I did NOT want to get out of bed - I even snoozed and then ignored my alarm clock with the thought, "A few more minutes of sleep will help me operate better today." I rolled out of bed when Lu woke up and asked for breakfast. Stumbled into the kitchen to turn on the hot pot to make coffee. Changed Michaels dirty diaper and got him some milk.

I realized I had a choice to make. Be a Negative Nancy and have a bad day with my kids OR choose to be thankful for what I have and move forward with my day with an "Because of Jesus, I can do this" mentality (what do we call that person? "Positive Patty" or "Thankful Thelma?" Maybe "Reliant Ronda" works best).

I've chosen to be Negative Nancy too many days lately. Blaming it on pregnancy hormones or the stress of trying to sell a house. But today needed to be different. So I decided to be Reliant Ronda and asked Jesus to help me operate in obedience to him, thanking him that he has enabled me, through the gospel, to act differently than Negative Nancy (who I'm inclined to me on my own) and pleading with the Holy Spirit to help me.

You know what?

God answers prayers.

When I stopped to realize my choices for the morning (mostly bad thus far) and realized that Jesus doesn't look on me with condemnation for over-sleeping but wanted me to walk in step with his Spirit today - my attitude changed. I was able to view my life with a positive outlook, take a deep breath and step forward into my day.

Here are the things I'm thankful for this morning:

1. I found a "rolled hem" sewing machine foot in with the random accessories that were given to me along with the antique machine! Exactly what I need to learn a new technique and make a nightgown for Lucy for her birthday.

2. The kids and I spent an hour outside, enjoying the 69 degree temperatures, sunshine and a nice walk - which was a long one for little legs!

3. The fact that I ran the dishwasher yesterday afternoon, unloaded it before an easy-clean up dinner and won't need to empty it again today. (It's the simple delights folks)

4. The kid's nap time today will be spent in the Word of God, as I prepare for Bible Study this evening. I have no household chores on the agenda today (although my house could stand to be vacuumed AND dusted... tomorrow). What a privilege to study and teach.

5. I am all caught up on the Blog. #MissionUpdateBlog is accomplished. I can now update the world in real-time. :) (I will not promise you that I will never get behind again. The only guarantee I have for you is that it will happen again once Little One #3 make his/her appearance.) ;)

How are you doing today? Are you being a Negative Nancy or a Reliant Ronda? Jesus can help you move forward through the rest of your day with better attitude. He did it for me today, he can do it for you too.

Inconsistent

I had an interesting conversation with Lucy last Saturday.

L: (putting her spoon in her big girl water glass) "My spoon go here?"
S: No Lu, your spoon doesn't go in your cup - you can put it in your bowl or on the table.
L: Oh

A few minutes later

L: (Looking at me out of the corner of her eye, puts her spoon in her cup)
S: Lu, I just asked you to not put your spoon in your cup - if you do it again, I am going to put your water in a sippy cup.
L: But mamma put her spoon in her cup? (Said in her sweet, voice-dripping-with-honey-voice - yes, she is 2 and already has this voice down pat.)
S Thinking: Touché daughter - great I have double standards....
S: OH!!! Lucy you're right, Mamma does stir her coffee with a spoon don't I.

Honestly I don't remember what I said next, but I knew in that moment that this wouldn't be the first time Lucy pointed out an inconsistency in my parenting.

Things have been quiet around this here blog for about three months now. This has not been intentionally, it has just happened. Life has been a bit busy, Grandma Buning (Brad's mom's mom) lets me know that she misses updates on the blog, but understands I've got more on my plate with two little ones now. I miss updating the blog too! And I really hope to be better at this whole blogging thing - but honestly... I will probably continue to "blog binge" as Brad calls it - posting a TON in a short period of time. :)

I've been asked by a few people why I don't just post fun things as they happen and then go back and post things from the past. It's a good question and my response is always this: I hope to someday have my blog published into a book for our family - I see it as a sort of modern-scrappbook - and I really want to have everything in chronological order for that reason. :)

I got a fun (very early) birthday present though, that is hopefully going to help me be a bit more consistent with this hobby of mine.

Isn't she pretty? 

My computer is full of unpublished pictures and I've been keeping pretty good notes to recount our memories from the past few months. So get ready friends, we are going to take a trip back to July over the next few days and work our way toward the present. :) 

Are you ready?

To My 2 Year Old Daughter

 

 Her first single french braid,

 Her first pig tail french braids. 

 Play Dough has been a fun activity lately - you do really well making "pancakes."

 Love the look of consentration. 

 

Her prompted smile.

 My little ballerina.

 Dancing with Caroline

 I love the action in this picture. 

 

 Dancing must build quite an appetite - because you brought Caroline quite a treat after your routine. 

 Such a fashonista.

 My helper, washing potatoes

Dear Lucy,

You are TWO. Seriously - Momma can't believe you've been in our family for two whole years. In some ways it seems like you've been with us for f.o.r.e.v.e.r, it's hard to remember what life was like when you weren't in daddy's and my life. But in other ways, it seems like we just had your first ultrasound, picked your name and brought you home from the hospital.

Lu, you are such a wonderful mix of a little person. You can be moody, you can be sweet, you can be selfish, you can share, you can cuddle, you can need your space, you can be extremely intelligent and you can do silly things.

You are NOT a morning/after nap person. You sang me parts of "you are my sunshine" the other day and made me cry. You hit Michael with a toy today, when he went to play with it. You offered some of your cake pop, your most favorite treat, to your brother saying, "Try some Michael, real good!"  You counted to 14, when I thought you could only couint to 11. You threw down your food, in defiance, when i told you to take two more bites. The other day, I had a (HUGE) zit on my face, you said, "Bubble mamma. Hurt?" When Michael is sad, you let me know and provide a solution, "Michael crying! Jumpy Seat?" The other morning you went in, while he was still sleeping and told him, "Good morning Michael, mamma get you!" You spelled your name while we were coloring yesterday, I wrote and said "L" and you said "U. C. Y!" You think all letters are Q, R or O. You are independant and definitely an oldest child.

Sweet girl. You pray every night, thanking Jesus and telling Him you love him. You request "Jesus Loves Me" often. We have a kissing routine: Cheek 1, Cheek 2, Nosies (Eskimo Kisses), Regular kiss, Forehead Kiss (which you made up - we touch foreheads). You thank Jesus every night for our friends Josh, Laura and Kaelah, Mamma and Daddy, Michael and Ellie. Some nights you mention your bed, our house and food. :) When you are struggling to go to bed, we go in and pray with you that Jesus would help you obey, you seem to be very receptive to prayer.

It is our hope that you know how much Jesus does love you and our prayer that your love for Him continues to grow.

I love you my big girl,

Your Mamma

Relationships, Restored

Have you ever had a day or week that you just weren't "jiving" with your spouse? That's been us around here for the past few days, no details are needed - we just were having a difficult time getting along. Last night, after a most difficult trip to the grocery store, we got the kids fed and in bed and were able to sit down and talk. Apologies were made, forgiveness extended and eventually, we prayed together.

Earthly relationship - restored.

Today, in the quiet of the morning I knew I should have a repentant spirit and confess some of the heart-issues that were tied to Brad's and my week. But my journal entry this morning started like this: Jesus, My heart is so hard. I wanted to confess but didn't know where to start and honestly, part of me still didn't want to go there.

As I continued to journal my prayer or, more accurately, as I started defending my sinful actions a verse my dad had me memorize as a kid kept coming up in my mind, "Put away all bitterness..." I couldn't remember where it was located in scripture, so I looked up "bitterness" in the back of my bible and the concordance pointed me to Ephesians 4:31.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32, underline mine)

Your Word is living and active, cutting to my very core.

My eyes skimmed the rest of chapter 4 and I knew the Holy Spirit had a renewing work to do in my heart.

Here are my observations from Ephesians 4, I pray they are an encouragement to you today.

I am called to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel (4:1), no longer am I to be content in my old way of life (4:17) - defined by selfishness and hardheartedness (4:19) - but taking Christ as my EXAMPLE (4:20) I am to renew my mind (4:23) and put on my new self which is created after the likeness of God (Gen 1:26), untainted with sin, in true righteousness and holiness (4:24). Because of the TRUTH that is in Jesus (4:21) - the fact that I was lost in my sin and he died to pay the penalty for all my wrongs and now, because I believe his sacrifice was enough and accept it on my behalf - I am sealed with the Holy Spirit (4:30) and am capable of putting away (4:22, 25, 31) my old self, complete with the old ways of communication (4:25, 29, 31) and capable of being kind and tenderhearted and quick to forgive (4:32). ALL BECAUSE GOD IN CHRIST FORGAVE ME (4:32). 

I set down my bible and journal this morning with a fresh appreciation for the gospel. God met me where I was at. He reminded me that he saved me, loved me and has not only called me, but equipped me to live to a better life.

He can do the same for you. 

Heavenly relationship - restored.

39 Weeks: A Journal Entry

A special thanks to my sweet, talented husband for the pictures in this post! He was both my photographer AND editor for these! What a treat to upload pictures that are already edited! :)

I didn't mean this to be a Sarah-centered post - but that, now that it is all done, is kinda what it became. These are my thoughts from today. 

I'm 39 weeks today (these pictures were taken a week ago at 38 weeks) and at the current moment, I'm resting happily comfortable on the couch - blogging, while my husband watches Sunday Afternoon Football next to me and my daughter naps (really well actually, she's been down for over three hours!). 

I am not often comfortable these days, so this is a rare treat. :) 

It's been an interesting month. It's been an interesting pregnancy. I've been much more emotional and hormonal this time around. Maybe, due to the fact that this baby is a boy? Or maybe because I've had more on my plate this pregnancy? I don't know - but this past month has been a bit better (on my end of things - if you ask Brad he may disagree haha!) I still haven't been "myself" but I feel like I've been more capable at handling life. I came to the realization around 7 months along when I was feeling very overwhelmed about having a new baby and an 18 month old, "the way I will feel then is not the way I feel now." I know I'll probably have a few weeks/months of transition, but knowing and remembering that the hormonal shifts become less after having a baby makes me more optimistic about the future. 

I've realized something. I've been over-thinking, over-analizing, over-planning and over-anticipating. This has caused me a lot of stress that simply wasn't/isn't necessary. And it has been a sin.

I haven't been "trusting in the Lord with all my heart" but have instead been leaning on my own understanding.

I just finished a study on Ephesians with some of the ladies at church, By His Wounds You Are Healed: How the Message of Ephesians Transforms a Woman's Identity by Wendy Horger Alsup. I can't recommend this study enough. It has helped me so much in my thinking and application of the gospel in my every day life. Jesus didn't die just to save me from hell. No, his death purchased so much more for me. His death on the cross has made it possible for me to live differently, growing from who I am now to who He wants me to be. Practically, the gospel influences how I should parent my daughter and son, how I should view my role as Brad's HOT(don't let you husband edit your blog :) ) wife. The gospel equips me to stop in the midst of a frustrating situation and change the way I'm about to respond. I am so thankful for this gift that I've been given through the gospel and I'm coming to a much fuller understanding of all that it entails.

I'm so thankful that God is bigger than my hormones. I acknowledge that hormones and emotions are real but I don't believe that they can be an excuse for me to sin against my husband, my children or even the cashier at the grocery store. Realizing that my actions and my speech have large implications on those around me has been humbling and motivating for me to "get it right!"I don't have time to simply meditate on these truths of the gospel - they must become flesh as I work them out in my life. My daughter is watching and my son is on his way.

I have been so humbled the past few months by the actions of my husband. He has shown me, in a very real and tangible way that "a gentle answer turns away wrath" (Proverbs 15:1a) as he has responded kindly to my angry and frustrated words. Seriously - it is like a slap in the face or a splash of cold water! His kind responses caused immediate shame and regret, which I believe was the Holy Spirit prompting me to stop my current projection of conversation - sometimes I listened, sadly others I did not.

I remember after Lucy was born how shocked I was at how my love for Brad grew. I anticipated that my capacity to love would grow because of my new daughter but had no inkling that I would love my hubbie more too. I've heard moms talk about how crazy it was to have their second child and realize that they were capable of MORE love. As I've been coming to a fuller understanding of Christ's love for me and what it means for the way I live my life, I've been challenged to love better. To not just love in words but to follow the instruction in 1 John 3:18, "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

I want the love I give my family to be based on truth, not fake or given begrudgingly. I want the love I give my family to be genuine and Christ-like, not selfish.

I've realized it's easy for me to be a "good Christian" at church, with friends and even with extended family. But the rubber really hits the road in my home, and THIS is where I want, more than anywhere else, for Christ to be seen in me.

I want my children to grow up with a healthy picture of what it means to be a gospel-centered Christian and to see a realistic picture of what life in Christ looks like, with all it's highs and lows.

So this is me at 39 weeks. 

Vulnerable but willing. 

Scared but learning to trust. 

Amazed and excited about the future. 

Reality Check

**This blog post is more for me than you, the reader. But I wanted to keep you in-the-loop as to my thoughts on blogging at this point in my life.

Dear Blog,

I love you.

I love that you help me keep family up-to-date on the happenings of our household. I love that I can look back on past years entries and see memories that have been recorded. I love that you motivate me to get things done in my house. And I love that you have inspired me to learn how to better edit pictures.

But I have grown annoyed with you.

I realized the other day that you had become another thing on my to do list and not a hobby that I enjoy (as much as I used to). I feel weighted down with posts I have swimming around in my head. I become guilty when I think of the posts I did during my first pregnancy, and the fact that my pregnancy related blogging has been next to non-existant with this baby.

So I am making a few changes.

I will no longer feel the need to update you three times a week. I read once that regular blogging was something that would help me one day be able to make money off of my blog - but then reality hit and I realized.... As much as I love blogging and as much as I would love to be able to make money off of this hobby - it is not going to happen. Because of this change, I will most likely, once again, go on blogging "binges" (as my husband affectionately calls them) - in which I post a lot in a day or week's time and then possibly go for 2-3 weeks without new content.

I will learn to be ok with this. It is going to be hard for me at first - but I will not be tied to you.

Blog, I want you to be a fun hobby once again. Not something I have to do but something I get to do.

I hope you understand.

With love,

Sarah

Christmas

This Christmas held a few firsts for our family:

• Lucy's first Christmas ever
• Brad and Mom K's first Christmas in Texas
• Amy and Dad K's first Christmas outside of Michigan (and Brad's too!)
• Sarah's first Christmas back in Texas

We had a fabulous day!

The traditional family picture taken before gifts. :) (Dontcha love how Sophie got into the picture? She didn't hold still though... :) )

We were all so excited! I don't know about you, but it was weird for me/us this year with Christmas on a Saturday. I thought on Monday - "It's the week of Christmas!" but it took longer than I wanted for the days to go by and for Saturday to arrive. :) It built up quite the anticipation.

Some favorite gifts: Dad got the llllooonnnnggggeeesssttt screwdriver ever from Amy. Amy got a Wii from Mom and Dad. And Mom got a personalized calendar from Amy. :)

Lucy got tired after a few gifts...

But after her nap, she was much more cheerful! :) I love this girl.

Discovering all her new toys and loving every one. :)

Giving some lovin' to Grandpa! :)

Our Christmas table and Amy and I in our Vera Bradley aprons. I got mine for my birthday (thanks mom!) and Amy got hers on Christmas morning - aren't they cute! :)



Lucy has the sweetest conversation with her grandpa in this video. :) Enjoy! And yes, Lucy stayed in her Christmas pj's all day. I was okay with it, and no one objected. :)

Know that feeling of exhaustion after a great day? Yep, that's what Lucy felt at the end of the day. She told me. :)

~

This holiday season, I was struck by the Hymn "O Holy Night,", its lyrics are so pognant.

"Long lay the world in sin and error pining" I have been reading through Jeremiah lately and have been overwhelmed by thankfulness that I do not have to be under God's wrath, like Judah and Israel, because of my disobedience because Christ took my punishment for me. But those who do not know/acknowledge Christ, are writhing in their sin and can't do anything about it. (I say writhing, because they are utterly lost on their own - I know it is a strong word picture, but I believe it is accurate)

"Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth." Without Christ, the soul is worthless, lost. But with Christ the soul has worth and meaning.

"A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn" Because of Christ we have a thrill of hope. Think about those words and how they applied to the NT Believers. They had had a period of silence from God - 200 years - and were weary in their waiting. But with Christ's arrival they a renewed hope, their Messiah has been born! They had the anticipation of salvation and with that salvation, a new and glorious future.

"Fall on your knees...." The knowledge of Christ's birth should make us fall on our knees in appreciation, gratitude and thankfulness. We are no longer writhing in our sin, because we have a Savior who was born to rescue us. Our souls have tremendous worth - we are given purpose in Christ. We may now rejoice, there is no need to be weary in waiting. Our Savior has come! He was born to die. What a gift.

It is the best gift that can be given/received at Christmas.