Transitioning to Three

I was a little worried after having Gordon that Michael, who has always been a mamma's boy would respond negatively to having a new baby held by mamma so much of the day. I have been so surprised and pleased with how Michael has responded to Gordon - he truly loves him. His favorite question for the weeks after Gordon was born was "Hug?" He wanted to hug, kiss and hold his brother all day long - it made this mamma's heart so happy!

The first week of transitioning to three kids was relatively easy, I had constant help from Brad or my mom. My goal on my first day alone with all three kids was to get ready for the day at some point (Brush hair, make up, brush teeth, get dressed) and to care for the kids. I had no other agenda - the day went pretty well (like I said in previous posts, my mom set me up for success before she left!). 

Since that first week, we have had many highs and lows. Yesterday was a definite low. Lucy was being super sensitive, Michael fussy and moody (we think he has an ear infection) and Gordon wasn't quite right. Added to the mix was a tired, congested mamma. Oh and tears - everyone had tears at one point or another.  Honestly I didn't respond well to the kids attitudes, I matched their bad moods with a worse one and had to apologize for the way I spoke to them later in the day.  We made it to nap time and I joined them in sleeping for 45 minutes. Naps were shorter than normal but we all had a snack of cookies and milk after we woke up and our afternoon outlook seemed a bit better. I gave the kids separate activities (they were still picking on each other) and we made it through the afternoon. Daddy to the rescue, Chinese delivery and a glass of wine helped the evening end well.

One of my favorite "high" moments thus far with three kids happened right as our Life Group was starting, we were all set up and ready but then Gordon decided he was hungry and Michael had a melt down. I took both boys upstairs (our house is small and two fussy boys makes it feel smaller) and gave Michael some books on my bed while I sat down to nurse Gordon. Usually looking at books quietly helps Michael calm down but this particular evening he was really upset. Lucy came in and I got to witness a super sweet sibling interaction,

L: "Michael are you still feeling upset?" 

M: (Through tears) "Yeah"

L: "Can I read you a book?"

M: "Yeah"

Lucy proceeded to "read/recite" him two or three books and Michael calmed down. 

L: "Are you feeling better now?" 

M: "Yeah" 

(source)

Any transition comes with highs and lows. As we settle into parenting three kids and finding our new normal (what used to work just won't anymore) I'm so thankful for the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ. I keep being drawn to 2 Thessalonians 3:5 and thinking of the love that God has for me and what that love produces in me - in thought or action. How does the knowledge of how much God loves me help me better love my husband and kids? I've also been thinking about the phrase "steadfastness of Christ" - I am anything but steadfast these days, maybe that's what's drawing me to it. I'm a mess. But knowing that my Savior is steadfast in his love for me, that my salvation - bought by his blood - is steadfast, has been a calming reassurance in the midst this transition.

I've also found this verse to be a wonderful verse to pray for friends - what better request could we offer up for those we love? 

How does this verse impact your thinking today? 

Choosing to be "Ronda" and not "Nancy"

I don't know about you, but there are days that I have to force myself to think positively. Days that my inclination is to look at everything with a pessimist's glare. This comes out in my attitude and in my speech. This morning, I did NOT want to get out of bed - I even snoozed and then ignored my alarm clock with the thought, "A few more minutes of sleep will help me operate better today." I rolled out of bed when Lu woke up and asked for breakfast. Stumbled into the kitchen to turn on the hot pot to make coffee. Changed Michaels dirty diaper and got him some milk.

I realized I had a choice to make. Be a Negative Nancy and have a bad day with my kids OR choose to be thankful for what I have and move forward with my day with an "Because of Jesus, I can do this" mentality (what do we call that person? "Positive Patty" or "Thankful Thelma?" Maybe "Reliant Ronda" works best).

I've chosen to be Negative Nancy too many days lately. Blaming it on pregnancy hormones or the stress of trying to sell a house. But today needed to be different. So I decided to be Reliant Ronda and asked Jesus to help me operate in obedience to him, thanking him that he has enabled me, through the gospel, to act differently than Negative Nancy (who I'm inclined to me on my own) and pleading with the Holy Spirit to help me.

You know what?

God answers prayers.

When I stopped to realize my choices for the morning (mostly bad thus far) and realized that Jesus doesn't look on me with condemnation for over-sleeping but wanted me to walk in step with his Spirit today - my attitude changed. I was able to view my life with a positive outlook, take a deep breath and step forward into my day.

Here are the things I'm thankful for this morning:

1. I found a "rolled hem" sewing machine foot in with the random accessories that were given to me along with the antique machine! Exactly what I need to learn a new technique and make a nightgown for Lucy for her birthday.

2. The kids and I spent an hour outside, enjoying the 69 degree temperatures, sunshine and a nice walk - which was a long one for little legs!

3. The fact that I ran the dishwasher yesterday afternoon, unloaded it before an easy-clean up dinner and won't need to empty it again today. (It's the simple delights folks)

4. The kid's nap time today will be spent in the Word of God, as I prepare for Bible Study this evening. I have no household chores on the agenda today (although my house could stand to be vacuumed AND dusted... tomorrow). What a privilege to study and teach.

5. I am all caught up on the Blog. #MissionUpdateBlog is accomplished. I can now update the world in real-time. :) (I will not promise you that I will never get behind again. The only guarantee I have for you is that it will happen again once Little One #3 make his/her appearance.) ;)

How are you doing today? Are you being a Negative Nancy or a Reliant Ronda? Jesus can help you move forward through the rest of your day with better attitude. He did it for me today, he can do it for you too.

Fun Facts About our Current Stage of Sibling Play-Time

Lucy and Michael are 18 months apart and are just getting to the age that they can play together. They are beginning to learn to play with each other in a way that is fun and doesn't usually result in tears (although 75% of the time, that's still the end result). 

Lucy is 2 1/2 and will be 3 next month (seriously?) and Michael is 16 1/2 months. I've been observing a few fun "facts" or "tendencies" about their play-time and wanted to record them here - plus I have some fun play-time pictures to share! :) 

Fun Fact #1: Lucy enjoys showing Michael activities that she thinks are fun. 

This is 1 year old Lucy on a (very dusty..... yuck) treadmill. Lu has always liked climbing on the folded up machine and sitting on it like a bench. 

Wasn't she adorable? Still is... just in a big-girl, preschooler way and not a baby way anymore. 

Lucy has shown Michael how to sit on the "bench" and it was a favorite activity for a few days - until mom and dad realized that two kids (equaling over 40 lbs together) playing on a folded up treadmill is very different than one child (weighing barely 20lbs) and we've since made the treadmill bench off limits for playing. It's just a bit dangerous..... :-/

Here's another example of Fun Fact #1 (that's a bit safer): 

Laundry Basket Sailing. (I love Michael's expression in this picture! He's such a cutie!) 

Often after less than 1 minute in the same basket I grab the other basket so it can be 1 child/basket - Lucy likes to tip the "boat" while Michael prefers to stay afloat. Haha

Fun Fact #2: Lucy and Michael like playing side by side with the same toy/activity.

(No pictures for this one, but here are the things they like doing side by side)

• Duplos - this is a big hit, but Michael is in a "destroy everything" phase and Lucy very much enjoys playing with the buildings we create - so it's best to keep them separated a bit when they play together with this toy. But we talk often about how part of the fun of playing with blocks is that you get to build and rebuild your fun creations! 
• Colored Animals and Jenga Blocks - for some reason this combination is SO fun for the kids! We have a large set of smallish animals that Lucy loves to make a "Zoo" with (that's what the Jenga blocks are for - "houses" or cages for the animals). Michael REALLY likes taking the animals in and out of their container and knocking over Jenga block towers. 
• Magnets - both the kids enjoy playing with the ABC magnets on the fridge. They don't stay on the fridge because they are a little sharp underfoot but when we pull them out they usually enjoy playing with them. Oh and we found that two of our cookie sheets are also magnetic so they play well side-by-side as each one has their own "Board" to use. 
• Train! We usually build two tracks (because of the "Destroy everything" tendencies that the boy currently has.)
• Books - It is not uncommon to walk in on Lucy and Michael in his room reading board books or her room reading "regular" books. I LOVE this. 

Fun Fact # 3: Lucy and Michael Like Being Creative Side By Side. 

Both Lucy and Michael enjoy Play-Dough, Coloring (for short periods of time) and playing with chalk! In our house, Play-Dough is a momma supervised activity and can fill up a good 45 minutes to an hour! We play about every other week, I've tried to keep it a special activity so that hopefully it will continue to be a GOOD time filler. :) 

Michael likes squishing the dough - here he's using a wooden block "stamp" and pressing it into the dough - it's a good arm workout for the little man!

Lucy got a great "Princess Castle" Play Dough accessory/kit (what do you call these things?) for Christmas and it's been a huge hit - it has molds to help you make dresses for the princesses and even a form for a prince! Oh and the best part - Rapunzel is in the tower and you can press through LONG LONG hair for her! This is Lucy's favorite part.

Here you can see the princesses with their pretty dresses on.

She was so proud of them! :) 

When I ask Lu to "Smile" this is what Michael does! Haha he makes me laugh. 

More pushing! 

Do you see the white prince giving the princess a kiss? She started doing this all on her own... if you ask me the other princesses look jealous. 

Here the Prince is climbing up Rapunzel's "long long hair" to see her. 

Ok - so usually I'm against mixing play-dough colors, but on this particular day we were using all our old play-dough and giving it one last go. Lu had received a new set of fresh colors in her stocking so we had a back up set to use next time. :) 

Fun Fact #4: Lucy and Michael are learning to interact while playing with each other. 

It's really natural for kids at Lucy and Michael's ages to play side-by-side instead of playing WITH each other - but one of the fun things about having siblings is that it forces you to learn things a bit sooner than other kids (not in all areas! But in this one - definitely). This rarely looks perfect! Playing together is messy and often needs mom's intervention. But sometimes it WORKS! Sometimes they play together SO well and it gives me hope that we are making progress! Here's a list of some things the kiddos like doing together. 

• Kitchen - This one is a work in progress, but Lucy and Michael both enjoy our play Kitchen. Lucy often feels frustrated when Michael interacts a bit too much (ie. decides to reset the table or remove a VITAL object from her place setting) but it has provided many opportunities to talk about how we have to teach younger kids how to play with older kids (and often I feel humbled when "teaching" this concept because I realize I need to be more patient with my daughter when she wants to do something with  what I'm focused on - an important learning moment for both of us). 
• Ball - Michael has always be attracted to Balls and loves rolling them around. Lucy has learned how to interact and play with him really well with both small and medium sized balls. Most of the time this "Play" turns into... 
• Wrestling! Lu and Michael love to rough-house with each other. It is so funny to watch them. They roll, they tumble, they chase and they (try to) tickle. Honestly, this usually ends in tears as one child bumps their head or feels offended - but they are learning! Haha!
• Games - This one definitely needs mom's supervision and help as Michael is learning how to take turns and play together, we currently have one game they can "play" together - it's called the duck game and it quacks and it's annoying for any adults who are in the home. But they are learning and loving it and so it's worth it. :) 

Fun Fact #5: We also fill our days with a few routine - "separate the kids" or "give them a break practices." :) 

• Room Time - Most mornings Lucy and Michael play in their rooms for 30-45 minutes by themselves. We really want our kids to be good at entertaining themselves and playing independently - and mom usually needs a few minutes to shower or catch up on a few chores without the kids underfoot in the mornings! :) Lucy plays in her room and Michael, at this stage, plays in his crib. We found that if he tried playing in his room he just sat at the gate in the doorway and cried the whole time. A smaller confined space with a few select toys has worked really well for him at this stage. :) 
• Phone Game Time - We just started this, so I'm not sure how it's going quite yet. We have loaded up our old phones with games and shows for the kids. This is pure gold for road trips - let me tell you! We let the kids play games (and have told Lucy "no shows during this time - just games") on their electronic devices for 20-30 minutes - it's a good time-filler while mom is making lunch or dinner. I'll let you know if this goes south, but so far it's been nice for us. It hasn't yet become an everyday thing, just a good thing for me to keep in the back of my mind if the kids are crawling up the walls. 
• Shows/Movies - We usually let the kids watch one show a day (Netflix, Hulu or a movie we own) - some days it's more and some days the TV doesn't turn on. But we try to limit it. It's really easy for me as a mom to become focused on what I selfishly want to accomplish in a day and not pay attention to what the kids need. This is why we've instituted the above two "Kids-play-independantly" strategies into our routine - they have helped a lot! 

Ok - that's us during this season of life with an almost 3 year old and an almost 1 1/2 year old! Phew! I can't wait for our weather to even out - it went from 90 degrees to snow last week within 48 hours! It's MAY! Longest. Winter. Ever. But I'm anxious to explore outside more and build in OUTSIDE into our routine! :) The park is calling for us! 

What ages are your kids? What do they like doing together? Any suggestions to help fill time? Do you have any strategies or tricks to pull out on days you want to pull out your hair as a parent? :) Are you a "Don't mix the play-dough" person too or do you let the kids "Go at it" and mix away? I'd love to hear whatever you have to share. :) 

Relationships, Restored

Have you ever had a day or week that you just weren't "jiving" with your spouse? That's been us around here for the past few days, no details are needed - we just were having a difficult time getting along. Last night, after a most difficult trip to the grocery store, we got the kids fed and in bed and were able to sit down and talk. Apologies were made, forgiveness extended and eventually, we prayed together.

Earthly relationship - restored.

Today, in the quiet of the morning I knew I should have a repentant spirit and confess some of the heart-issues that were tied to Brad's and my week. But my journal entry this morning started like this: Jesus, My heart is so hard. I wanted to confess but didn't know where to start and honestly, part of me still didn't want to go there.

As I continued to journal my prayer or, more accurately, as I started defending my sinful actions a verse my dad had me memorize as a kid kept coming up in my mind, "Put away all bitterness..." I couldn't remember where it was located in scripture, so I looked up "bitterness" in the back of my bible and the concordance pointed me to Ephesians 4:31.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32, underline mine)

Your Word is living and active, cutting to my very core.

My eyes skimmed the rest of chapter 4 and I knew the Holy Spirit had a renewing work to do in my heart.

Here are my observations from Ephesians 4, I pray they are an encouragement to you today.

I am called to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel (4:1), no longer am I to be content in my old way of life (4:17) - defined by selfishness and hardheartedness (4:19) - but taking Christ as my EXAMPLE (4:20) I am to renew my mind (4:23) and put on my new self which is created after the likeness of God (Gen 1:26), untainted with sin, in true righteousness and holiness (4:24). Because of the TRUTH that is in Jesus (4:21) - the fact that I was lost in my sin and he died to pay the penalty for all my wrongs and now, because I believe his sacrifice was enough and accept it on my behalf - I am sealed with the Holy Spirit (4:30) and am capable of putting away (4:22, 25, 31) my old self, complete with the old ways of communication (4:25, 29, 31) and capable of being kind and tenderhearted and quick to forgive (4:32). ALL BECAUSE GOD IN CHRIST FORGAVE ME (4:32). 

I set down my bible and journal this morning with a fresh appreciation for the gospel. God met me where I was at. He reminded me that he saved me, loved me and has not only called me, but equipped me to live to a better life.

He can do the same for you. 

Heavenly relationship - restored.

Plaid Short Day

Due to the fact that I have a son and a daughter - my kids can't match very often but I often have them coordinate. Why? No other reason than I think it is adorable. :)    

Example: Plaid Short Day

I didn't anticipate Lucy being such a camera-disliker.  We are working on it.  Michael, for now - will still look when I call his name but Lucy.... oh man.... she becomes very engrossed in her current activity and will not look my direction. I'm hoping it is just a stage.

Michael LOVES his sister - he loves watching her play, he loves it when she talks to him, he loves it when she sings to him. And for the most part, she does really well with him. :)

I did say for the most part.... we don't usually encourage the eating of feet. :)

I think plaid shorts are pretty cute... what about you?

Photo Journal: Only Under Mama's Supervision.... :)

Ellie's Ear

*First, let me apologize to my grown daughter Lucy. Sweetheart, I know the "outfit" you are wearing in the following pictures isn't worthy of being called an outfit. I shouldn't have tied your t-shirt with a hair tie. I'm sorry. I had no idea you were going to be so cute this day, and thought the shirt would be okay for you to wear for a day at home. Again, I'm sorry. XOXO - your Mom

Ok, now that that's out of the way we can move on....

There is a little girl named Lucy who has a stuffed elephant named Ellie. Lucy loves Ellie very much. She enjoys dressing Ellie, taking her for "walks" in the stroller, feeding Ellie and most of all, holding Ellie's ear close to her face. (For a sweet picture of this, check out this post)

One day, Lucy's daddy helped her make a special house for Ellie out of blocks!

 "Yeah! Ellie has a house!"

 "Uh oh, I can't find Ellie's ear!"

 "Maybe if I just dig around a little bit, I can find it?"

 "Wait, this is her hand! I'm looking for Ellie's ear!"

"There, that's better"

That's right, the little girl named Lucy found her elephant's ear and held it to her face despite the fact that Ellie was inside a "house."

In which I ramble about a bunch of random things...

1. Well, last week held a big transition for the Kidder family - I've started working again. After much prayer we have decided it would be a blessing for both our family and the church if I worked 12 hours a week as the church secretary/Brad's assistant.  It makes me laugh that the question I've been asked the most about this change is, "How can you work with your husband?" or "How can you spend so much time with your husband?" Brad and I have always worked really well together in the kitchen and in the work place (we are working on working well together with home diy projects! :) lol) - We are both particular about certain things and pretty understanding of each other when it comes to "office" things. We have been praying for both humility and clear communication though!

Lucy has gone down to one nap a day, and it has worked perfectly for her to sleep at church in an empty classroom from 12-3! She loves playing in her daddy's office and has adjusted well to this change. When Michael comes, the plan is for me to have a swing or some sort of baby-holding-divice by my desk to help with productivity, but we will finalize all those details once he is here.


We have gone into this situation realizing the potential dangers of being "so involved" (pastor's wives can so easily become burnt out). It is such a comfort to me to know that Brad (and the elders) want to protect me and our family.  I know that he will ask me to step back if I am doing too much and often tells me, "I can't talk to you about that" (hard to hear the first few times, but I'm used to it now and trust him completely).  So far it's been great - but we are willing to make changes to protect our marriage, our family and our ministry.

2. Random tip for all you who enjoy doing have to do laundry: I have really been enjoying OxiClean lately - presoaking Lu's clothes (that have food/crayon remnants on them) has really helped! If the stain is appearing to be stubborn, I'll scrub it gently with an old toothbrush after soaking, before washing.

 (Source)

3. Tonight is the first soup night of Fall 2011 - let's just say Brad and Sarah are excited.

Love when recipes are written in my mom's handwriting. :)

4. Lucy's vocabulary is ever increasing. Last week we learned, Please "pease" and Night Night "Nigh nigh." If she sees candy of any kind she starts spewing "Pease, pease, pease?!?" :) It is hard to say no to that!

5. Little tea cups work really well to corral straight pins when in the middle of a sewing project - plus they are adorable.

6. Last week, we came home from work and it was warm in the house (due to the sun spilling in) so I pulled the curtains, in an effort to be energy efficient. Look what I saw:

I screamed and jumped onto the dining room table (I give you permission to laugh at this mental image). Thankfully Brad was home to be my hero - the mouse did escape, (yuck) but we haven't seen it since so we are hoping it escaped to the outside (we have a pier and beam foundation). I have instructed Chloe Cat to be on the alert.

7. I finished Michael's crib skirt yesterday and over the weekend a friend from church helped me surge the edges of his swaddle blankets (Thanks Sherry!!!). Here is a sneak peek of the skirt, a full reveal will come when all of his bedding is complete.

8. I have a new Pandora station addiction.

 Jadon. Lavik. Wonderful. 

I think I was hooked when the first song this station played was "This is my Father's World" for some reason, that song is so "fall" to me. :)

9. I made a fall wreath last night, I'm not so sure how I feel about it. It was supposed to look like this one, but ended up looking way more "3rd grade art project." What do you think? Honest opinions are appreciated. 

10. Fall has finally arrived in the Texas Panhandle. We could not be more excited - we have had three fires in our fireplace this past week! Yeah, we are a tad bit crazy. :)

Well, I think that is all for today - I told you this would be a bit random. :) Hope you enjoy your Tuesday!